31st May 2020
I hope you’re ready to give a chance to your brother,June. Sometimes it hurts that I am more attached to June than I am to you . Yet you seem like you’d be a good friend if we sorted out our differences.
You see…every other passing year, you seem to present me with quite a number of difficulties, pain, disappointments and abnormalities. Need I say that as time goes on, my expectations of you recede. Sometimes I wish I’d only take a nap after April and then wake up in June. This is how much the thought of your arrival gives me sleepless nights. Please note that I don’t begrudge you for being unfair to me for years.
Today, more than ever, I want to have this honest conversation with you. I want to know where I went wrong. Why are you so mean to me and yet I’ve proved to want to be a friend? What is the possibility that we will ever get along as easily as the other months in the year? How best can I send you to my best friend September so that you get to know and learn how to ;treat me better, love me unconditionally, create beautiful memories and bring the same joy and peace as it does.
On 1st May 2020, my diary reads…
I want to imagine that this year you will be a little patient with me. From time immemorial you have moved at a faster rate than I . You always carry surprises, not pleasant in any way but they carry a lot of lessons and experiences. You’re here again…and I am afraid of facing you but how do I not?! If it were possible, I’d just let myself be in hibernation until the days slip away. That’s my only a wish for now.”
On that very day, 1st May…I was presented with a difficult situation. Somehow I kept telling my heart to beat again and It did. As days went on, I found myself smiling again but somehow I know I always smile despite the happenings. Everything I suspected and anticipated would happen, happened! There was a lot of anxiety and I expected that. There were days when leaving my bed felt like another big task but somehow every morning came with a new hope.
There was this one day, I hope my friends won’t get angry at me. I kept this to myself. I fainted…read that again. I fainted. It was a serious ulcer attack. Spent that whole day in the hospital or I can say I woke up only to find myself in the hospital.
Speaking of ulcers…just this week, a dear friend succumbed to ulcers. This was someone I once shared a classroom with, someone that still cared to reach out even after years went by and kept in touch. Someone that loved people and lived to see others happy or at least made sure he created a comfortable home in his heart for his friends. We lost a dear soul and you best believe I’ll attribute it to May. She always finds a way to deprive me of at least a friend, relative or anything that is precious enough.
I know there is someone who relates with this. Your worst month could be September and how best you decide to go through it, matters. Sometimes I wish May would accept to go on a coffee date with me. But every time I send in an invitation, it meets a lot of resistance. If you’re out there and May is your best month, I hope you can try as much to bridge the gap between us. Somehow I had hoped this year it’d be better.
On a lighter note, I am an employed youth now. Thank you May! You tried.
Time check…23:30pm. Nothing is gonna change in 30minutes.
Goodbye May. You’re welcome June, please do come in and have a sit. I have been waiting for you!